The Baby Boomer’s Babies - by Sharon Edmonds

Once part of it

In the thick of it

On top of it

In demand

Multi-tasker

On it

Super Mum of the 80s

Baby boomer child of the 60s

Relied upon by colleagues children and friends

Responsible

Running the show

Co-ordinating the birthday parties and making sure mufti days were ok

 

Little hopeful loving faces sharing so many daily moments

 

Meal-maker

Entertainer

Chauffeur

Partygoer and host

Evening class attender

Swimmer

Card maker

Cake baker

School runner

Therapist

Busy busy busy

 

Time spent with parents for a rest

To be someone’s child and looked after

To go “home” for a moment where “Mum” and “Dad” aren’t you and grandparents have a double role to play

Much to their delight and relief

Needed and appreciated once more

They can dip in and out of this type of parenting

Best of both worlds

 

The golden years

 

The Christmases and New Years so organised and planned to hopeful perfection

Laughter

Fun

Exhaustion

The changing seasons and the events that dictate the operational system

September

September

September

That glorious golden month of respite for all the mothers after the busy summer months in the park

When they once again come together outside the school gates to chat and compete Before whisking off to dancing classes and cubs

The new terms

The sports days

The parents evenings

Whose child will be Mary in the Nativity and which a shepherd?

 

School shows

Discos and the proms

The family holidays on farms and at sea sides

Woodland walks

Photographs

Capturing the moments frozen in time

For they are but fleeting moments

The proof that that bit of your life happened.

It did happen

It happened

Then what happened?

They grew up

Then came the university and travelling and training years

The children came and went

Moved away then came back

Fell in and out of love

Danced til dawn

Got on aeroplanes like the baby boomers got on buses

Off to far away lands

Stay safe

Keep warm

Text me

Trying new lifestyles

Vegetarians

Vegans

Yoga

Festival goers

Red bull swallowers

Performers

Moving them from Halls to houses many times

It’s all there on social media

The privileged insight into their children’s lives that the baby boomers parents, (the war babies) never knew.

 

They brought their laundry and their friends

Refuelled with home cooked roasts and favourite flavours and laden with food and mugs and duvets they went off again

They’ll learn a trade

Improve a talent

Develop a skill

Get qualified

Make lifelong friends

Party hard

 

The baby boomer mother cares about those things but most of all they mustn’t get hungry or cold

Above all they must be warm or you won’t be able to cope

You’d have failed

 

Then one day as the door closes there’s a different sort of silence.

What to do?

Well clean of course!

Wash scrub

Decorate

Go out

See friends

Only when you return home it’s still tidy

And quiet

 

Adjusting to buying and cooking food for two

Buying vegan food and marmite and cake ingredients because you never know when they might come

Who’d have believed it would be so difficult to adjust to amounts

You’re not feeding the 5000 for heavens sake!

Out of date packets of expensive treats and

Shamefully-filled food bins

 

Time for friends

Reunions .... the shock and hilarity of your schoolmates looking like adults

Ladies who lunch

Theatre goers

Garden centres

Gym and swim

Walks and shops

Tap dance to the rhythm of life

Why not stay over....

Nothing to rush back for.

 

They start settling

Meet someone

Set up home

Or share with friends

Come back to visit but less likely to stay over.

The baby boomers parents grow older

More frail

Need help

GP appointments

Admissions to hospital

Can’t manage

Go into homes

Die

They were the buffer between yourself and death

It’s gone

You’re next

Look after your health

Arrange funerals

Clear childhood homes full of memories and

Sell them to complete strangers

Fill your house with their stuff you can’t part with

And the things you left with them that you couldn’t part with when you left home

Add in the children’s stuff that they can’t part with either and left with you

Try to declutter

Spend half your life collecting and the other half getting rid of stuff

Half your life building

The other half dismantling

Growth and loss

Retire

Go part time

Money in your account for the first time in years

Inheritance and pensions if you’ve been lucky

Pay off your debts and mortgages

Time on your hands

Now what?

Holidays

Decorate

Extensions or a move

Help the kids out

Spend or save

Confusion

 

You’re only here once

Enjoy it whilst you can

Before the state take it in

this tax that tax or worse still...

Care fees

Get rid of it

Get it out of your name

50s .... “the golden years”they call them

Really?

School years .... “best years of your life”

Really?

The treadmill of life

You can have this

But you can’t have that

Youth but no money

Money but health problems

Time but no plans

Each life stage bringing its pros and cons

Options but difficulty in choosing

Filling your head with cliche’s that finally make sense

Catching yourself out

Turning into your mother

Mannerisms and phrases

And not wanting to but why?

Why wouldn’t you want to be like the person you loved unconditionally who loved you back?

The reminder of the ticking clock.

 

Grandchildren

The utter delight of the tiny human who you love with all your heart

“Grandma”

Never dreamed it would actually happen

That you’d have this new name

How can this be

How can a child of yours be a parent?

This new child who has the look of this that and the other relative

Some alive others gone

But all those people you hold dear encapsulated in this one unknowing soul

Every second counts

Another chance

To bake

Run in the rain

Roll on the grass and kick leaves

Roll play dough and paint

Expose them to the important things in life

Time ticks by

Time flies

Feels like yesterday

Understanding now that the Falklands war and the hurricane of 1987 which seem so recent is the equivalent memory to the baby boomers parents remembering their recent VE Day

And realising that Elvis Presley and Vera Lynn really were super talented and young once upon a time.

And seeing Hattie Jacques and Olive from “On the Buses” still as old people

The same as when viewed as a child on TV

Encapsulated in time yet decades younger than you are now.

But time......

There is no such thing only seasons and light and temperature changes

Time.....

time and tide wait for no man

A man made concept due to the need for organisation to which we have become enslaved

Only moments strung together some good some bad with wasted moments between

What’s it all about

Why does it matter

Finding ways to block out thoughts of old age calculating years left

How will you be

What will be your fate

Endless emails and leaflets about cruises, stair lifts, funeral plans and gadgetry to aid the infirm and provide maximum comfort

Shrinking world

All the time

All the freedom

But staying put like a captured fly who stays in a jar when the lid is removed, not taking its chance to fly away.

Mingling only with nearby neighbours and family

Where are all those others you knew who have become but names on Christmas cards

Knowing nothing of their lives unless seen on social media

but knowing everything of the lives of the Archers and the strangers on the soaps

Being an expert on the world news by lunch time

Sat with your soup and roll

Nutritious and warm

And so easy

A time saver

The precious time

What will those saved moments be traded for?

 

The competitive mothers who once congregated outside the school have become competitive grandmothers

.... I can’t do Tuesday I’ve got the grandchildren coming over.

So much baking to do in time for Christmas.....gotta run no one else knows the recipe.

Off to see the school nativity

My grandchild has been picked to be Mary.

 

Secret recipes and handed down precious traditions

Eager to keep ancestors alive in some sort of way that touches the lives of the potential great great grandchildren

And to create memories to be cherished forever

Before it’s too late

Make or create something tangible to leave behind

To make your mark

Permanency defying death

Traditions that don’t involve technology, mobile phones,

Halloween, baby showers or any other American imported festival.

 

Now the circle of life is understood

All old people who once blended to look the same now seem individualised

With their shrinking hair and spectacles

The mystery of the evolution behind the shrinking hair..... how does long sleek hair turn into a short curly mop? what happened to it between times?

Letting herself go.....

Always such a derogatory critical phrase but now seems to have a gentle kindness and comforting ring to it

Impressing no one

What you see is what you get

Like it or lump it

The best things in life are free

Count your blessings

Put right the wrongs

Don’t cry over spilt milk

Keep your faith

So many advisory remarks to keep you on the straight and narrow

To guide you through the milestones of life

 

The most important thing in life is to be kind to one another

It must be true

My mother spoke those words

She said them whilst she could still talk

Before Dementia stole her voice

She who tried her best and left her legacy in those precious words along with samples of her handwriting on recipe books.